Scrubbing Bubbles

So, I promised to explain the scrubbing bubbles. You know the bathroom cleaner that "works so you don't have to"? Well, it kills bugs-or at least stops them enough for you to drown them in more scrubbing bubbles until they expire. This allows you to stand fairly far away from the offending pest and get rid of it. Hey, don't knock it until you have tried it. Well, it works for me! Don't laugh.

Gee, how many posts have I done today?

Terror in the Shed

So, if you read my blog at all you know that I am quite the animal-nature lover. I help turtles and opossums, rescue snakes from the road, let the very back of my yard get a bit overgrown so that little creatures have places to live, let the deer eat all my pants and never complain and take injured birds to the emergency vet. I say this so you understand my dedication to the flora and fauna of Wake Forest. Ok but there are three things I can not abide; spiders, camel back cave crickets and roaches. I am not crazy about insects in general but lady bugs and butterflies are ok. Also, I try not to do anything too damaging to the environment as far as pest control. I use Sevins Dust to keep the ants out of the feral cats food (safe for animals by the way)and to control the hoppers under house. I also keep the grass short to keep the flea and tick population down. Other than that, I don;t do anything.

As much as I hate spiders I leave them alone outside. I have a rule for spiders, you don't bother me, I don't bother you. Period. You stay outside, I let you live. You come inside and depending on the look of you I MIGHT take you outside. MIGHT. Camel back cave crickets and roaches well, there is no mercy for you. Sorry. You get the Scrubbing Bubbles (I will have to explain that later).

So, I am sure you are wondering "what is the terror in the shed"? Well, WAIT I AM GETTING TO THAT!

So, tonight was grass cutting night. I donned my baseball cap, holey t-shirt and stretched out yoga pants and sauntered out to the shed. I throw open the doors to the shed and immediately stop and check for crawling things. I saw one little woodland roach, ok just step over him. No big deal. And then something black over in the corner catches my eye. Upon closer inspection I start to silently freak out. "HOLY CRAP THERE IS A HUGE BLACK WIDOW IN A WEB UNDER ONE OF THE EXTRA KITCHEN CHAIRS"! OMG! HOLY SHIT!!!!" Ok, I stand there at a loss for at least 3 minutes. Which is a long time when you are scared to death to move because the 12 inch black widow (exaggeration) might jump for me while saying in a raspy voice "why are you disturbing me"-think Aragog from Harry Potter or the spider from Lord of the Rings.

Now, if you have been paying attention, you know my issue with spiders. It has invaded my space so it must be destroyed. I have no idea how to kill it because I am afraid to get closer than 25 feet from it. But, I also understand that I have to kill it. My scrubbing bubbles is in the car port so I am defenseless. I grab one of those paint stirrer things but realize if I used that I would have to get closer than I am comfortable with. So I fnd a 2 foot piece of wood and get it on there. Then I squish the hell out if it until there is nothing left. I feel bad...for about 5 seconds where I ask God, Virgin Mary and Saint Francis to forgive me, but they know my feelings on the matter. So I mow the grass and come inside. I shower, eat some cheerios and get on my laptop. And what do I do? I Google Black Widow Spider where I spend the next 10 minutes reading and looking at webpages dedicated to Black Widows and Brown Recluse Spiders. "Ok Seriously, WHAT IN THE HELL AM I THINKING!" I will never sleep now. So, long about 1:00 a.m., feel free to call me. I guarantee I will up!

Now that's Karma

In an effort to start living a simple life (that is a whole other post!) I have been going through all of my stuff one little section at a time. The first section was my jewelry. I don’t have a lot of “fine” jewelry. What I do have is mostly from my ex-husband. So, I decided to get rid of the bad karma and sell it or pawn it. During my lunch hour I went to visit the local pawn shop in the town where I work. The guy was nice and told me he would give me $60 for a garnet bracelet, gold wedding band, gold cladaugh sun, moon, stars pin and cross. All of these are at least 10k gold. I am not doing it so much for the money but for the principle of it, the ridding the house of the bad karma, but then I think the bracelet is worth $75 on it's own! So, I thanked him and I decided to try and sell them on ebay first. If they don’t sell than I will take them back to the pawn shop. At least I know how much I will get. So after that I decided to go get some comfort food (Bojangle’s. YUM!). This whole ordeal has been bringing back thoughts that I don’t want, and in an effort to “get over it” for today,
I decided to do a big Weight Watchers no-no and use food as my security blanket. As I am turning left, I look over at the car in the next lane who is waiting to turn left, and I will give you one guess who it was. Yep, the ex-husband. So, as I sat in Bojangle’s I wondered what it meant. I mean he lives in this area and I have not run in to him in over a year so how odd that I should see him on this particular day. So as I ponder the universe and it’s connections and randomness, let me know if you want to buy a gold bracelet with garnets! It really is pretty!

K9 Mom's Thoughts While Mowing the Lawn

*WARNING* If curse words offend you, please skip this one. And, if anyone from work is reading this, I don't think the "Swear Jar" applies here right? Because, I don't think my pay check will cover it!

Walking to the shed (sigh...didn't I just mow this freakin' lawn?)

Opening the shed (Crap, I hope there are no spiders in here. Ok well I don't see any-something crawls on my shoe-HOLY CRAP WHAT WAS THAT!?! Seriously, beetle don't even think about crawling me. I don't want to scream and then squish you.)

Sitting on the tractor trying to start it ("Look Beast, please start before I start to scream! Oh wait, maybe there isn't any gas...")

Trying to take off the gas cap ("ok did Hercules put the damn thing on here or what?! Oh wait, it was dad...DAD!" (say this like Jerry Seinfield would say "Newman")

Ok look- there is gas in here so start damn you START!" Oh good here we go...

K9 Mom backs out of the shed hitting the fence a bit ("SHIT..Again with the damn fence...")

"So, I did diagonal last time...maybe straight lines? Yes I think so".

Here is where I turn on the MP3 Player and start to get in the mowing groove...

Humming...OH I LOVE THIS SONG!! Annie Lennox you completely rock"! Ok I sing here for a while, I must admit to a hand movement or two..Bunnie doesn't care she is trying catch a cat..who is about 100 feet on the other side of the fence but I applaud her dedication..

"Ok favorite part...And if you're trying to cut me down, You know that I might bleed, Cause if your trying to cut me down, I know that you;ll succeed.And if you want to hurt me, there's nothing left to fear. Cause if you want to hurt me, you're doing really well my dearrrr..." I think I should you tube that when I get in. John Malkovich and Hugh Laurie I think...OUTSTANDING!!

Author's note: Yes, I really think words like outstanding, he is a gem etc. I am a goof ball.

So from here, I pretty much just sing and hum and drive around.

"Oh man I hate the push mower part...but here we go..Bunnie stop trying to bite the lawn mower. Trust me it won't end well for you"...

I mow for a while, sweat A LOT and then... KURPLUNK!!! Mower stops.

"What the hell...oh crap, crap crap I hit that stump. CRAP!!! Please start. Please START!!!! I don't want to have to call dad. "Ok maybe I should go in for a Dr. Pepper and feed the dogs. I will give it a chance to rest".

I get a drink and go back out. It starts.

"Hmmm My hydrangeas are lovely..I should cut some, whoa watch the hose! Um excuse me, person turning around in my drive way-really? Should you be doing that while I am standing right here? I mean go down to the next street and turn around why don't you?" "One day I am going to catch the damn individuals who throw litter in my yard and throw their beer bottles right back at them!!! Littering is against the law DAMN YOU!!" Ok just calm down and keep on mowing...Mowing, mowing and more mowing...

SO, on this outing I almost ran over my croc wearing foot while trying to open the gate and push the mower through without turning it off, I hit my head on a low branch, ran into a bush that had lots of thorns on it and got a blister from holding the handle down.

And the best part, is I get to do this ALL over again in 4 more days! But, my lawn looks super good. Even my mom said it looked nice while she was cutting hydrangeas. Now THAT my friends is quite the compliment!

Adventures in Lawn Mowing

I think a few posts in regards to lawn mowing are way over due! Why? Well, because I want to! And it is my blog.

Let me give you all a little background.

1. I mow my lawn every week. Even when I was married (to...well let us call him Mr. Lazy for this post), I was the one out in 100 degree heat cutting the grass with help from my dad (good ole' dad. The man is an absolute gem).

2. I have a biggish yard (.75 acres)

3. I have become very particular about pattern in the back yard. No idea why. I mean who cares as long as it is short right? Wrong!

4. I THINK I have a mixture of St. Augustine and Bermuda grass. Oh with Wild Onions (the bane of my existence) and weeds. This means when it is hot outside and wet it THRIVES.

So, Thursday was the night I was mowing this week. Now let me mention that I had just mowed the back yard on Sunday and the lawn was LONG.. So the first course of action is to jump on my tractor/riding mower. An orange Husqvarna. Please reference picture above and then imagine one faded orange and that doesn't always start or just stops in the middle of the yard, and you will have mine. It's name? The Beast of course!

Funny aside here-There is this great couple that lives next door to me and the menagerie. They are funny, friendly and always willing to chat when outside on the porch. Great, down to earth, country people who like animals. LOVE THE NEIGHBORS. Anyway, one night I had just finished and was talking over the fence To Lady Neighbor and Guy Neighbor started singing "She Thinks My Tractors' Sexy-by Kenny Chesney only with "he". This cracked me up and now every time I start the tractor up, I think about that and laugh my ass off. Because seriously, there is nothing less sexy than me on my tractor. Ok, maybe you can think of something but you get my point.)

There isn't much to do when you are sitting on the tractor except try not to hit the fence, propane tank, shed etc and keep your mowing lines either in a diagonal (my personal favorite), picture frame or straight up and down. Why so many designs you ask? Because you are never supposed to cut your grass the same direction every time. You gotta change it up! And no,I don't know why. Google it! Oh, and try not to let anything touch you (bugs, grass, limbs hanging from trees) especially the poison ivy growing over the fence that you are extremely allergic to and dad has not killed yet. So, I listen to my MP3 player,sing really loud and with feeling because no one can hear me over the "beast" (At least I don't think so. Oh that would be embarrassing!) and think about stuff. And that is what the next post will be about...

If it is not one thing it's Otto

(I know my deck looks a complete mess but it is clean now. Well except for 100 dog toys!)

This is a well worn statement in our house. I love all 3 of my dogs. I always say they are my kids. And Otto is the "baby" so of course he is spoiled and as much as I hate to admit this; maybe a smidge more than the others. It is not intentional but Otto has a medical condition and so he gets pampered a bit. I call Otto the "million dollar dog" because I have spent so much money on his vet care. Otto has epilepsy and takes meds to control his seizures, and they work pretty well.

I have been very concerned about him for the past several weeks because he has been having some real trouble walking. I have been having scary thoughts of brain tumors, seizures and strokes and basically worrying myself sick. We went to see Otto's vet today (who has to be the most patient, kind man in the universe to deal with me)for some help. I don't know a whole lot more than I did before except that Otto is ok as far as we know. Dr. B said that we could have a $1200 MRI done (I barely scraped together the $50 for the office visit) that would probably tell us what was what wrong but would not change anything. Sigh. So for now, I am going to be happy in the knowledge that I am doing everything I can to keep him happy and healthy and I will just need to get used to his funny walk and stumbling. I also learned that Otto is happy (well as far Dr. B and I know)and not suffering and besides a little arthritis in his right hip, he isn't in any pain. In other words, Otto's quality of life is good. And so I will continue to keep him and Bunnie and Chloe happy and comfortable and love them all way too much. And maybe that is all we can hope for in life. To have someone try and keep us happy and comfortable and love us too much. Well, it is one of the things I hope for.

P.S. Thanks to everyone for all their good thoughts today. It meant a lot to Otto and more to me.

Nerd with a capital N

As I sit here listening to my MP3 player, it dawns on me just how much of a "nerd" I really am. I mean who just LOVES to listen to John Denver's Annie's Song or Rick Springfield's Human Touch? Well, I do! And I feel there are other signs as well. Here are a few:

I only like to use pens that write a certain way. And if they don't, they go to the big pen grave yard. (Ok, really a great big tin bucket. Anyone need a pen?)

I get teary every single time I hear "God Bless America"or "The Gift".

I have to sleep with wrist braces at night because of carpal tunnel. Hey, at least it isn't head gear!

When I mow the grass, I have to wear a hat, long pants and if it isn't 100 degrees a long sleeve shirt. Why? Because if a tree branch, bug, anything touches my hair, arm, leg etc; I have to shower immediately.

I have 3 stuffed animals on my bed right now. I KNOW!! I know what you are going to say, you don't need to tell me!

I love to watch PBS. and not just Masterpiece theater but Nature and Painting with Bob Ross ("OK, lets put a happy tree right here by this big strong mountain").

I collect Children's Books. That is quite the hobby to get the gentlemen calling!:-)

When walking down a sidewalk or walkway I won't step on any cracks or lines. You know in case it "breaks my mother's back or father's spine" Who thought that up and told it to little kids any way?

I sleep with a pair of scissors next to my bed. You know, in case the monster under my bed decides to come out.

I have a scrapbook with an example of every card I have ever sent out at Chritmas for the last 15 years or so..

Oh and the posts on this blog.

So, for the four people that read this, "Welcome to Nerdville. Population, ME!"

Ihasahotdog

I stumbled upon this website (http://ihasahotdog.com/)one night while surfing and I am just in love with it! I liked it so much I signed up for daily updates! If you need a laugh, check it out.

Things I have learned this week

1. You can never have enough paper towels when pet sitting for 10 puppies. NEVER!

2. No matter how tired you are, how hot, how sweaty, how sad, kisses from 10 puppies, 1 golden retriever and my dog tribe will cheer me up in about 10 seconds!

3. If you stop drinking regular soda and drink diet soda and water, you will lose weight.

4. Nothing feels as good as a hot shower after cleaning up after 10 puppies!

5. When someone tells you that you have disappointed them, it stinks. No matter how they say it or how they spin it. It stinks. Period.

6. Sometimes you just have to go out for Bojangles at lunch with a friend.

7. Applying for a new job is scary and kind of exciting! :-) Especially one that seems like it was made just for you.

8. You gotta have friends.

9. And sometimes, you have to stop pretending to be fine and just ask your friends for a shoulder.

10. At the end of day, it doesn't matter how much money you have made, how many things you have screwed up or done right, who you have impressed or failed to impress, how many things that you have or how much work you have done. What matters is that you can say that someone, anyone, loves you. For you.

And I think that (#10) is the most important thing I have remembered this week. Because that isn't something that I learned. I always knew it. But sometimes, it stays buried under so many layers of things like exhaustion, disappointment, resentment, self loathing, anger, jealousy, selfishness, grudges, (add your own here) that we forget. But as long as we can remember than we will be ok.